It's important to stress before we go any further that I am a proud fan of both Deadpool and particularly Deadpool 2, being a longstanding supporter of their use of schoolboy irreverence as a frame for some genuinely sweet, often quite wholesome heroism. The true conceit of the character, which Ryan Reynolds has always played into, is that Wade Wilson is not a fourth-wall breaking, cussing and pussing imbecile, but rather a man riddled with insecurities that are never as far from the surface as he'd like to think. It is a shame then, that Deadpool & Wolverine fails to make time to conclude his story in in the midst of this Disneyworld, cameo-heavy onslaught generously labelled a 'film'.
The premise of Deadpool & Wolverine is not one that the film ever tees up or particularly earns; after an admittedly amusing, certainly morbid opening fight scene scored to NSYNC, we flashback to the Avengers HQ, where Reynolds as Wade is midway through a very meta interview with Happy Hogan (Jon Favreau, director of Iron Man) to join up with Earth's Mightiest Heroes. He blames his romantic woes with love interest Vanessa (Morena Baccarin), claiming that to save his relationship, he needs to prove that he can really "matter". One might be forgiven for thinking that this is setting up a character arc for the Merc With A Mouth, but in truth this goal is scarcely addressed again, except to sneak in the occasional snippet of Avengers trailer footage whenever things risk getting too slow.
Slow is a key word here, as the script's manic plotting is undercut at every turn by a total lack of interesting sets, character dynamics or even action. It is a film that giddily promises you exciting and subversive twists at every turn, but once you block out Wade's constant teases, you'll start to realise these never actually come. By the end of Act 1, Deadpool has teamed up with what is said to be the "worst Wolverine ever" (Hugh Jackman), a beat-for-beat rehash of the angsty character seen in 2017's Logan, just watered down for an audience more fond of cartoons and primary colours. Jackman does his best with the role, but it is plainly a rerun of juicier material elsewhere, with his character's major emotional crux coming in the form of Logan co-star Laura (Dafne Keen), who emerges from some bushes to list the plot points of that film to him before promptly turning to leave in the same direction.
Laura is the one cameo Marvel elected to announce ahead of the film's premiere, perhaps because she is the only one who might resonate with a general audience who don't forensically track and commit to memory Marvel's timeline of failed or unmade projects. While Spider-Man: No Way Home has aged poorly in its awkwardly delivered actor reveals, each coupled with an uncanny pause for applause, at least Tobey Maguire and Andrew Garfield actually lived up to the fanfare. It is difficult to imagine many people not of the Comic Con world who will jump for joy over the return of Jennifer Garner's Elektra, who looks as though she'd rather be anywhere else.
It is surprising just how much this sense of boredom permeates through the film. The fight scenes are largely drawn out and stake-less, with every other character now being an immortal healer who can tank any number of shots or claws, while even the riffing from Reynolds feels more tacked on this time around, boiling down mostly now to just listing things he can see and quipping: "huh". Even the aforementioned sweetness of Deadpool 1 & 2 is completely absent here, with jokes about the empowerment of pegging and effeminate male identities being swapped out for an endless supply of gags about Deadpool and Wolverine almost looking like a gay couple (god forbid), mixed in with the occasional bullying stint as Deadpool repeatedly picks on an overweight office worker for apparently having a crush on him. It feels oddly mean-spirited, like the carefree Deadpool must now double down on his edginess just to prove he can still do it in a Disney setting. Or possibly he might be compensating for the film's total lack of shocks or outrageousness elsewhere.
Deadpool & Wolverine is not a terrible film, rather a disappointingly empty one. The combination of its two titular characters is let down by a drought of ideas for either of them except to fight, snark and ogle at the various actors returning to cash-in their paycheques. The closest thing it has to a unique selling point is the Disneyification of it all, but even with the various references to Avengers and quips about joining the MCU at "a bit of a lowpoint", there's nothing here that'll stand the test of time. In five years, half of the film's content will have dated into obscurity, and the rest will just have you pining for older, better movies. Then again, if the X-Men sizzle reel that runs over the end credits is anything to go by, maybe that was the point.
Comments